Bosworth Takes Steps To Limit Mamils

 AN ANNOYANCE OF CYCLISTS

 

The pleasant town of Market Bosworth has taken a huge step forward in eradicating a blight of the town’s roads and lanes.  In the last few years Market Bosworth has attracted huge groups of Mamils (middle aged men in lycra).  They monopolise the roads in around and Market Bosworth and now groups of these uninsured, untested, untaxed road hogs are taking over the market place, they hang around in groups known as ‘annoyances’ drinking their isotonic drinks, whilst discussing gel seats and their latest campaigns in ignoring all laws stated in the highway code regarding cycling in single file and consideration of other road users.  Complaints against these annoyances include local married mother of 2, Felicity Forbes-Hamilton-Smythe, who has expressed her disgust in the language these mamils use including monococks and the applications of vaseline or as they describe it as ‘Butt Butter’ all within ear shot of children.


 But the town has taken the step of charging a toll to these 2 wheel hooligans.  Local campaigner Reg Brown when interviewed by Hello Bosworth argued  “It’s about time we take back our streets from these annoyances, I had to pass a driving test to drive my car on the road, my car is taxed, insured and has to pass an MOT every year, these mamils are completely unregulated.’ Fellow campaigner Brian Skywalker was disappointed with just charging mamils for the use of Bosworth’s roads. "I pushed for drawing pins to be spread on all roads and snipers nested in all approach roads to Bosworth to rid us these road outlaws".

All cyclists from today will be charged £5 to enter Market Bosworth and a £20 fine for every taxed and insured vehicle they hold up with their 2 wheeled antics, with a zero tolerance of stopping in the market place and 100% duty on all isotonic drinks sold to anyone wearing lycra.

 A TYPICAL MAMIL YESTERDAY