Beast of Bosworth – confirmed sighting!
Hello Bosworth! Has heard rumours that a great Beast roams the quiet by-roads of Bosworth. However, these rumours did not bear up to the rigorous journalistic standards we require in order to publish a story – until now!
Local boy Ivor Scroughloose, 17, has told us previously of his terror when confronted by a great black Beast ‘whose eyes glow yellow and whose fangs flash in the moonlight’. The Beast has been sighted pacing the Country Park and stalking the banks of the canal. It is only now that he has been able to get a photograph of the Beast which provides incontrovertible proof of its existence.
‘The Police won’t listen,’ Ivor complains. ‘I even showed them this photo – and STILL they refuse to mount a hunt. Will they only take notice when local dogs or cats start disappearing – and what if the Beast takes a child? Or my Aunt Mary? Will they listen then?’
Ivor’s Aunt Mary refuses to substantiate his sightings of the Beast. ‘I’ve told him before to stop telling tales. I’ve even threatened to cut him out of my will if he keeps telling people that his father was abducted by aliens. Everyone knows that man ran off with the milkman and is living happily in Bognor.’
Hello Bosworth have shown the photo to top scientists at Twycross Zoo, however they have been unable to confirm whether the Beast is a panther, leopard, wolf or bear. We believe this may be a cover-up – that one of their animals could have broken free and is roaming the countryside in search of prey.
The police may be unwilling to act, but Hello Bosworth says – ‘Be Vigilant!’ Particularly if you’re walking home from the Co-Op with meat for your dinner. Remember – it’s not worth sacrificing your life for a rump steak. There will always be another special offer.