Residents Told To Stop Moaning About The Cold

 Market Bosworth residents have been warned that cold days like today will be become more frequent, because winter is approaching and that it is completely normal.

The warnings come amidst complaints and shocked comments from people apparently unaware that as the year draws to a close, the average temperature generally drops and the amount of daylight decreases.

 “It’s a completely normal and expected phenomenon” claimed local meteorologist Bertram Drizzle, “It happens every year. It’s called winter.We really all should be used to this by now.”


“You counteract the drop in temperature outside by increasing the temperature on your central heating. Remember? Unless you live in Market Bosworth when you get your butler to do it for you. You did it last year, and probably the year before that too.You should also start wearing coats when you leave the house.